Diary of a mad black fetus

SOOoo yall know there’s this new virus going around thats transmittable through touch, sneezes, coughs anything really, so like if you contract it then you gotta like go through this 9 month incubation period where another human being grows in you and uses your body like a host, you know like in the creepy horror films that i LOVE to watch btw, anywho let me cut the bull lmao I have a body invader well for at least the next 3 months, un planned, unexpected, just oops. I always said I wanted just one more and hopefully it would be the daughter I prayed for I just saw an entirely different version of it though and not this soon but nevertheless, children are blessings from God and we should always keep that in mind, amen? Amen. So I decided to keep somewhat of a journal of this journey, I know I shoulda done this 3 times ago but whatevs I’m doing it now… You guys will be with me through the goods, the suckies, the bads, all of it. Maybe once this morning/alldamnday sickness goes away and I start to feel somewhat normal again I’ll be good, till then I’m gonna bitch and moan about any and everything .. I started kinda late with the journal but theoretically its still really early.. Anywho my due date is supposedely April 21st 2013

Week 5 day 4

Today was no different from the others, toss and turned all night last night, woke up with an upset stomach 40 minutes before my alarm was supposed to go off, I hate that! Brushed and puked this is becoming the norm, I don’t remember it ever being this bad. Went to burger king and got a sausage egg and cheese croissant, which seems to stay down but I always feel like crap after eating it. I feel like crap and I’m not sure if it’s showing on my face or demeanor but I hope it isn’t lol. I told the kids yesterday, I have yet to tell my mom, I don’t know what I’m waiting for really, aint like I’m gonna get a whoopin or something, I just, I don’t know why, I’ll probably just text it to her and go about my day LOL. I’m tired of answering questions about the situation; frankly it isn’t anyone’s business except those who I know support me. I’m still feeling uncertain. Half of me gives no damns n the other half is like, you’ve gone through worse than this why is it even a thought? Stick to your guns regardless of what others may think…

Week 5 day 5

Man oh man, last night my incision (from my lump surgery) was bugging me so I ended up popping a vicodin which I hate because I’m already tired as hell so it pretty much puts me in a coma so that’s what I did last night lol. This morning’s nausea isn’t horrendous but its bad. I’m clear headed today. Not stressing, clearly I can’t control everything so I’m just gonna roll with the punches right? Riiight.

Week 5 day 6

Today is stress galore, the beginning to a long weekend but everything is going wrong, what gives? I had donuts for breakfast, clearly I didn’t give a damn this morning I just needed something to sop up the sourness in my belly ugh. Last night I felt compelled to eat half a pot of instant mashed potatoes smh again I just needed something in my stomach so it could stop growling lol im trying, but when you’re nauseous you don’t want stuff in your stomach, you want it out *sigh* I’ll be glad when this phase passes, yall know I like to eat and all my fav foods are no longer so…

Week 6 day 3

The end of a long weekend, the weekend wasn’t too shabby except for the phenegran had my azz in a coma the majority of it. I had to make life altering decisions like do you withstand the nausea or sleep all day? Well I can’t stand no nausea so I was dozing, and when I wasn’t dozing I was watching SVU smh. I did get a small burst of energy clearly before the Phenegran actually kicked in and I managed to shampoo my hair, change my bed sheets and be somewhat productive it only lasted for about n hour though then I was back to being a sleepy bump on a log. My friends seem to think that I’m an insufferable, antisocial bitch right now since I don’t seem to want to hang out or go out to eat, everything irritates the shit out of me, smells, the smell of food, your shampoo, your deoderant, your breath just everything, Im just not ready to be social right now.

Week 6 day 4

Today I ate like an effin pig, between the pralines ice cream, pineapples, fried chicken wings, ribs, easy mac, egg sandwich with hot sausage links, an entire watermelon (in the parking lot of food lion ok?) and a slew of other crap. Yea don’t ask. I’ve only gained 2 lbs but I already feel like Precious.

Week 6 day 5

TGIFF I cant wait to just go home n freakin sleep. –the end

Week 7 day 1

This weekend was extremely lazy the kiddos and I didn’t do anything, ate like pigs and watched shark flicks all day long. Jt was begging me to take him to the park but I was not feeling a. being out in that heat, b. being around all them bad ass kids and c. being out the bed period yea we didn’t make it, instead I bribed him with $2 and told him to leave me alone lol mission complete. I was phenegran’d up this weekend so I didn’t feel much discomfort other than when it was wearing off, I Just hope I don’t run out before the first doctors visit life would suck.

Week 7 day 2

My fetus is a total ahole, can’t I enjoy breakfast anymore? I mean like I know im hungry because my stomach is growling and when I decide to eat, nothing major just my usual egg and cheese croissant cause God forbid I have meat!, I find myself blowing chunks on the steps of my workplace. This is complete and utter stupidity, not cute, vomit breath doesn’t feel sexy ad my gut feels like a swamp inside this is bull I want a refund.

Week 8 day 1

I’m getting lazier by the day can yall tell? I’m not even writing much, this weekend was ok I dunno if my nausea is going away or if I just don’t even allow it to surface in between doses of phengran fuggin A. I’m getting fat, matter of fact I feel like Moby dick, yes the effin whale, you know we had denim Friday last Friday and I couldn’t even rock my fat jeans yall my fat jeans the extra big ones they wouldn’t button!! ;( so I just rocked another summer dress with a blazer of course smh. I weep, its too soon to not be fittin clothes, im barely eatin, I mean food wont even stay down half the damn time but my stomach is growing a little too big too fast, and it aint fat growing its hard, I have questions, I haven’t had my first ultrasound yet so I dunno how many little danies are up in there, I don’t remember it ever being like this, all of it, everything is different. I read that with each pregnancy, you show quicker? Im not about that life, im not ready for maternity jeans and pants, im steady tryna suck my gut in and its not working. I’m just NOT ready for that whale life. Oh as of lately I started waking up in the middle of the night EVERYNIGHT roughly around 3:58am to freakin eat, I mean deep sleep or not im up in the kitchen, finding something to stuff into my face, not the move i literally cant even go back to sleep until m stomach is full, im not sure if thats a side effect of the phenegran I mean it calms your stomach for hours, maybe when it starts wearing off your body thinks its starving? no? im just pregnant huh.. I’ve had alot of support lately, mostly from male friends which I think is interesting, besides the occasional ” damn girl that was supposed to be my baby” comments i think its pretty neat, for some reason people view me as some sort of super person that can take on the world in a single bound, I’ve never thought so, i come from a family of survivors and go getters and really don’t know any different. I don’t stress things I cannot change and the “shit happens” part of me has been very much alive since the school age days so if thats what I exude then i’ll gladly rock the S on my chest but im not afraid to say I effed up. We set goals for ourselves but ultimately God has other things in mind and a heck of a sense of humor, Im still waitin on the punchline for this one, im waiting patiently I swear…

Week 8 day 2

lawdy lawdy nothing major today except for the fact that I had alot of #DearFetus moments, I let her yes im calling it a her, convince me that I really wanted this burger from the cafe in our building which if you know me, i barely even eat red meat nonetheless a damn burger so I walk my happy azz up there to get it grab all my lil condiments cause u know i wanted it to be fat n nasty like I craved right all drippy n gooey too yes #winning. got back to the lounge, ate my burger nice n slow it wasn’t bad I mean it was pretty damn good especially with all the mayo i dripped all over my dress like a boss. not even 3 minutes after I was done MBF was like SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE, I slowly walked to the bathroom like everything was ok, god forbid I let one of my patients see me blow chunks in the hallway I was NOT goin out like that, not today. I get to the bathroom and paint the toilet and walls with projectile cheeseburger gunk. wtf was I even thinking, letting this greedy ass deceptive little thing in my stomach run my life, waste money on food and now my stomach is growling cause guess who’s even hungrier now than they were before? smh, I have to get a handle on this eating thing its terrible. I spent most of the daycalling my doc tryin to get some more phenergan cause I literally have 4 left and 2 and 1/2 weeks till my first appointment its not gonna be pretty at all if I have a lapse in lol well coverage NOT pretty! wish me luck hopefully he’ll call me back tomorrow.

Week 8 day 3

Guess who slept through the night without getting up to eat??!

Yeaaaaaaaa this girl oh I did get up to poop at 4am lmao like the dumbest ish ever right? Its like I sleep pooped haha guess those eggs I had for dinner weren’t such a grand idea. This morning I had grapes and crackers for breakfast. Very safe right now that’s what im trying to be safe. I brought a whole box of OJ to work like a boss cause I spend way too much money at the exchange upstairs on a daily basis its ridiculous so I figured id bring enough for the week. For lunch one of my patients is dropping me off some lunch cause I did him a favor LOL tit for tat better yet tit for food haha not literally, im so corny. Anywho that’s it for today toodles

Week 9 day 1

Hey! i know its been a few days, nothing new im fat. Old Navy has 50% off all maternity clothes this week so I guess I need to get in where I fit in geez cause I aint fittin a damn thing over here. iWeep. morning sickness pretty sporadic, not horrible, im out of phenergan officially so my doc agreed to see me tomorrow just for a reup, how nice of him he dont know thats the only way I can function in the evening. My doc here at work gave me some vital info that can help me out here during the day so im not blowing chunks. He said to get some vitamin B-12 and B-6 they both help counteract nausea, yall know im on it I can’t stand that sour stomach ish. Im definitely showing again iWeep its like way too soon I think or maybe time is just flying, good let it fly so I can get back in the gym lol seriously I’m that chick with the baby in the Bjorn while she’s on the elliptical like im so serious, this pregnancy really stopped my fitness goals dead in its tracks, once the nausea wears off though im gonna work out, i aint making no promises but that is the intent LOL know that my intentions are such…

Week 9 day 2

Doctor’s visit today, not the first official one but this one was to get a refill on the phenegran, I told yall it wasn’t a game lol I need it in order to survive this trimester for real! anyway so i get in there and immediately she’s like your blood pressure is high im like fugg could it have been that steak chipotle wrap i had at sonic this morning that WASNT EVEN mine but I ate it anyway and then they brought out my correct order which was a jalapeno steak burrito, thats some fat ass stuff ! like who does that? *stares in the mirror, flips hair* so anyway, im pretty sure it was from my heavily salted breakfast so we bypassed that, she weighed me. before the first tear could even drip down my cheek the words ” Oh hell naw” rapidly escaped from my mouth she started laughing and goes, you gained 5lbs since our last visit. Im so distraught I can’t reiterate enough how much I hate gaining weight hopped off the scale as i burped remnants of my jalapeno filled egg and steak burrito letting out what im sure was a God awful stench from my mouth I diregarded everything she said from that point on till she handed me my prescription and i got dressed and left. Eff today! I want some cake.

Week 10 day 1

I had a very stressful weekend but im good, good news is that I ate like a pig i think this nausea is trying to die down a little but every now and then i wanna throw up just for breathing. last night i managed to forgo the phenegran which, lets talk about that, I think Rite aid gave me some generic ish cause it doesnt work like the other stuff i mean in regards to knocking out the nausea yes but the sedative in it isnt as strong as my first batch, i like to sleep shoo. ANywho this weekend i cooked some lamb chops and rice, baked macaroni and ate everything i possibly could like a true fat ass. I bought some maternity jeans from ross that wouldnt go up past my hips at an XL *sigh* hopefully the 5 pairs i ordered off old navy come in soon and those fit or else im just gonna scream and live in Jeggings for my entire pregnancy. I told my mom today, i was waiting until she came back off her cruise so i didnt overwhelm her with my newfound news but come to find out she already knew cause some big mouthed un named people told her lmao geez. Anyway thats one thing off my shoulder I mean I hate keeping stuff from anyone, i just dont like having secrets so now that she knows i feel alot better and i can proceed accordingly. She said if i have a 4th boy i need to go ahead and get his genitals removed at birth and make him a girl lmao can’t say the thought didnt cross my mind lol, well anyway we won’t be finding out for another 10 weeks anyway so whatevs!. my first appoinment is in 8 days i cant freakin wait, i mean i dont like tests and labs and all that bs theyre gonna be doing to me for 6 hours but i just wanna know that im healthy and that my mad black fetus has a healthy heart rate and that theres just ONE i repeat ONE fetus in there whew. Other than that im good. After this appointment i’ll meet my real doctor at a real women’s clinic who will be with me for the next 6 months yes 6 months thats all it feels like forever away but it sounds better when i say just 6 months, itll go by quick I feel it, christmas is almost here, then spring break ill be popping my mad black fetus out. This weekend i took the kids shopping and let me tell you, I can’t hang out in stores like i used to my back and everything else was killing me after about an hour i was wrapping it up.

Week 11 day 3

hayyyyy! I’m happy to report that my nausea is subsiding drastically and i take a phenergan maybe once or twice a week if i eat something i got no business eating ahem, anywayyyyyyyyyyyy I went to my first appointment, it was very pleasant, i had this old indian guy he was very gentle with my lady parts matter of fact I must SAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY his pelvic exam was one of the most pleasant most non evasive that i have ever experienced in my entire life!!!! you know how they get that stupid ass speculum and jam it in you then click it like 19 times have u spread open like an effin turkey well lemme tell you, dr whatever his name was clicked twice, swabbed it up and was done! i almost wanted to hug him i cant stand paps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i mean paps should be a form of punishment by law thats how i feel about them theyre stupid and just stupid, anyway, the most dreadful part of the whole thing i think was giving them my entire pregnancy history which i know yall are like well whats the big deal well it was, apparently answering 2 zillion pages of questions and initialing did me in, never mind the 9 gallons of blood they took after, that was cake compared to the damn paperwork whew. I got to hear little MBF’s heart beat, it was going a zillion miles a minute, fun times! I expected an ultrasound but he was like no we have to send you to your real doctor for that, uh oh so im scheduled to go a week from today excited! I get to see the little bad ass thats been giving me hell these past 3 months, always fun stuff. I came home with an ass load of pamphlets and magazines as if right? as if by now i dont know what the hell im doing, anyway JT read em all lol he’s more excited than anyone i know. im hoping he remains as optimistic once the baby gets here considering hes been the baby for the past 7 years, yea we’ll see how that goes. my sleep has been sucking, tremendously like I sleep like someone is sword fighting me in my sleep, clothes off, sheets on the floor, pillows god knows where, just awful. times like this im glad i sleep alone cause no one would be able to tolerate that bullshit lmao. Tonight is ladies night with the gals, they always make me happy and laugh my butt off, i get to watch them consume delicious alcoholic beverages that i can’t have *sigh* but nevertheless its so necessary. TTYS!

Week 11 day 4

Man we had a going away potluck today freakin bananas, im getting to the point where my eyes are always bigger than my gut, i wanted everything! but literally took 2 bites of everything and i was done for! my tummy cannot hold food im like wtf im supposed to be pigging out but nope, i think its my fairy god angel making sure i stick to my plan of not gaining more than 20lbs from this pregnancy, although the quality of food im consuming is in question, i definitely have the quantity in check, i cant eat alot, at all! and im fine with that. Last night the ladies and I had CHillis, i decided on the sample platter cause i was freakin starving considering i skipped lunch and just snacked all day but damn i had to get a togo box for a freakin appetizer! too funny so yea if i can remain this way for the remainder of the pregnancy i’ll be very happy when it comes time to hop on that dreadful scale. My support team is building rapidly 😉 I honestly feel like the good i do is being reciprocated. My mom is dying to know the gender so she can start shopping lmao. I thought that you can only find at at like 20 weeks and beyond but I’ve been noticing lately that alot of people have been finding out who are around the same timeframe im in and im like wtf? well i looked it up and my, times have changed, I was happy to read that with new technologies, genders are being determined as early as 12 weeks, pfffffft shoo so im praying next wednesday i can see little MBF’s cooter clear as day on the ultrasound screen. im sticking to the fact that she is a girl and thats all there is to it. I’m getting bigger and bigger i feel like, by the hour, im officially out of regular pants and rockin the big girl draws now *sigh* but whatever, I need these next few months to breezeeee on by so i can get back in the gym lmao like seriously..

Week 11 day 5

TGIF! I can’t put in to words to explain to yall how damn tired I am, its crazy. I slept pretty good last night but I feel like I need another 8 hours. Its getting cold, I spent a good 30 minutes trying to find a sweater to wear this morning total fail, so im adding those to the shopping list, Im SO not trying to spend a buttload of money on maternity clothing, i seriously dont think im gonna be doing this again in this lifetime lmao the uterine factory is about to go into forclosure after this delivery. whoever my future husband is is just gonna have to be happy with the clan we have already lol im not playin.looking forward to this weekend, im gonna be doing nothing exciting like deep conditioning my hair for 6 hours, watching lifetime and I thought about taking the kids to the festival here locally but damn thats alot of walking smh but we’ll see what my mood is like.

Week 12 day 2

So I survived the Mullet festival yesterday, thank God the boys were bored and was ready to go after 2 hours, when I say it was hottttttttttt, and lemme tell you what, I had on leggins, boots and a hat cause when i looked out my window it “looked” cold, what a damn mistake, when the first trinkle of boob sweat hit my navel, I knew I was done for, I was angry cause i was hot n forced to walk up n down these random ass hills. I wanted to pig out, i saw fried pickles, bratwursts from every nation, funnel cake, gyros, everything, i could only stomach a german brat and some lemonade before i was really done for, so now i was hot, full and uncomfortable. OMG. Jt went on a few bouncy rides, shawn mostly just walked with me and we cracked jokes on all the country folk but that was it!, The walk back to the car slayed me, i was huffin n puffin like nobody’s business, I don’t know what gives my stomach is just huuuuuuuuuge ;(, ultrasound in 2 days, either this kid is really big or im just bloated as hell, we’re not even gonna consider twins cause God wouldn’t do that to me lol just sayin. Today was a great day, I got some really good news so im a bit bubbly, tired as hell but bubbly nonetheless. No nausea, now its just determined by what i eat, like today i wanted this jalapeno burger they sold in the frozen aisle upstairs at the mart well it was REALLY good but MBF was not feelin it at all, I did everything i could to keep it down, I just cant do burger meat. i want steak really bad though im gonna have some this week from somewhere with an excessive amount of A1 sauce yesssssssssss LOL. This weekend Jt read every baby mag he could find in the house, he is REALLy excited I think its hilarious, he saw a breast feeding ad and threw the magazine on the floor and said WHYYYYYYYY is that lady putting her boob in her baby’s mouth!!!!? he said mommy promise youre not gonna stick your boobs in the baby’s mouth and that you’ll use the machine. iDied! that boy is crazy!! he picked all kinds of strollers and car seats and said another prayer that its a girl LOL see even he’s tired of having male siblings LOL too funny. he’s gonna be a great big brother 😉

Week 12 day 3

today was pretty uneventful, im hungry as hell today, my shirt has a hole in it, my maternity skinny corduroys are too big so i keep having to pull em up, my hair is a mess, im your classic preg today not giving a whole heck of a lotta damns about it either. Tomorrows my ultrasound YAYYYYYYYYY i’m really hoping to find out the gender, i think everyone I know is super on edge about it LOL most of all i really just wanna know that everything is good. I don’t ever remember getting an ultrasound this late in the pregnancy but then again Navy docs do stuff differently than the civilians. I’ve been really tired the past two days, I’ve been really whiny and its hard to believe i have 5 and a 1/2 more months to go sheesh, what will I be like in my 7 month if im miserable now? i dont even wanna know LOL im just glad the queasiness is subsiding ALOT. Thank God cause some people experience that their entire pregnancy, I couldn’t imagine. I havent yet really let the cat out of the bag but everyone whos important to me knows thats all that matters lol no need for an entire announcement lol. welp till tomo…

Week 12 day 4

WHat a freakin day! I couldn’t wake up this morning lol, headed to work traffic was backed up 4 miles so i busted a Uturn because I was not about to be like 40 mins late and have to leave work in 30 mins for a docs appointment so hung out and had breakfast until my appointment time. My ultrasound took all of like 10 minutes LOL at first glance i thanked GOd that there was only one amniotic sac in there whewwwwwwww, then my little mbf started to stretch its arms and legs and had the hiccups, it was so cute and such an awesome moment. I must say its my first time going alone but whatever that bothered me for almost 5 seconds then it didnt matter lol. Anyway the nurse said she’d see me again in roughly 7 weeks so we can then determine the sex. Little mbf had her legs crossed the whole time like she was sitting in a sauna in Maui

She looked very relaxed doing back flips in her own personal lap pool lol. Everything looked good, she appeared to be very normal thank God you just never know 😉 I didn’t think these photos were very good considering the shots we did have that couldve been captured (yea im such a damn photographer) I know I thought she looked like a duck in the first one and in the second one she was giving me pinnochio a little lol too funny.

Week 12 Day 5

Man what a lazy ass day, maybe because its cloudy out, I dunno I’m just not feeling it. i’ve been trying to complete my homework all day but its such a struggle lately like I cant focus on anything at allllll which sucks cause I need to be done with grad school and I have atleast 2 more 8 week classes before the baby is born theres no telling what life will be like after that lmao but anyway, she’ starting to kick alot, little reminders that she’s in there and that what im drinking is extremely cold LOL the joys of pregnancy, theyre cool and all but im telling you its gonna take an act of congress before I do this again, I’m seriously done, not me per se but this body, my body does not handle weight very well at all, everything feels overwhelmed my boobs, knees, back, ass everything. I may start exercising next week lol yea may i dunno i need the energy and maybe i will sleep better at night yea? i might just buy a prenatal yoga dvd and call it a day seriously.

Week 12 day 6

How effin cool is this? lmao i know im a little grossed out too but isnt it still cool? lmaoo I know I know. Anywho nothing new to report today, I’m still fat and i’m still tired. Have a great weekend!

Week 13 day 3

Hey guise! Today is my birthday and ive been eating cake all day MBF is NOT pleased lmao yea heartburn central. I dunno what came over me today but i drank an entire gallon of cranberry juice, I think secretly I was pretending that it had vodka in it and that it was a celebratory beverage no? ok anyway today went pretty well, my mom came yesterday she surprised me and was hiding in the GNC at the exchange mall lmao she’s such a nut, i love her so much, shes about to have knee surgery so it really meant alot to me that she drove 4 hours to visit with me for just a few hours ♥ she called my belly Joanna lmao hell no, no haitian names or anything sounding haitian either. no real celebration today, I’ll be going to Atlanta next weekend to celebrate with a few friends of mine down there can’t wait! its been a while since i’ve gotten away from here on non business purposes. BTW when I sneeze? I feel like my entire life is trying to squeeze out of my vagina, its not a good feeling at all, just thought i’d put that out there, so anyway back to what i was saying. SO im coming into my 2nd trimester and im frickin estatic, that means this is almost over lmao I know I know I got like 26 weeks to go but still the closer I get the more excited I get, on with it already! I really wanna know what im having, its consuming me, i think im gonna have my doc here at work take a look on our ultrasound machine lmao im so impatient its serious, I have to know, I refuse to wait another 7 weeks.

Week 13 day 4

Not much to report today, im tired, I feel like I need a mandatory nap time during the day like right after lunch lol right in a perfect world. Its ofcourse the last hour of work, when I typically do most of my blogging since the patient activity is pretty low at that time. I’m starting to meet more and more preggos who are along the same timeframe im at so thats pretty cool. Nothing like having someone you can bitch to who can relate or someone to go stuff your face with every now and then who wont judge you for ordering cheesecake with a side of ranch dressing, nice. welp thats all for today..

Week 13 day 6

Today was a very fulfilling day lol i’ll just leave it at that total insider, anyway i waited a little too long to eat today and felt a little gross, will not do that again. we’re expecting ahurricane this weekened so I dont expect that we’ll be doing much but ordering in and watching alot of tv and resting. I’ve been resting alot lately, good stuff, last night mbf thought it was in a music video inside my womb and did nothing but dance all night long, I suppose it’s preparing me for the sleepless nights to come *rolls eyes* anywho thats it for now.. have a great weekend!

Week 14 day 1

This weekend was ok, did alot of shopping, the boys needed winter gear so thats what we did, I bought a few maternity items, im really trying my hardest not to buy too much cause damn i’ll only need em for the next few months. I attempted to do baby registries online and yea, I think id rather go around the store with the scanner and just scan stuff goodness I think it literally drained the life out of me to attempt it online. I mean do people even use registries anymore? I havent had one since I was pregnant with my 15y/0 and thats in 97, things have changed, I didn’t have one for the other two cause well I was in the military and didnt really have any steady friends lol sad right? yea so I’m starting to question like is it even worth it cause i mean do people actually go to the store and pull up your registry and buy from it? I dunno , worst case scenario i’ll keep it at the walmart/target level cause I doubt folks are gonna be runnin to babies r us and Pottery Barn kids lmao seriously.. i wouldnt. but anyway, like as i was doing the registry i realized how unmotivated i was, i mean this is my 4th kid, i could give a rats ass if it had a diaper stacker or matching bedding i mean seriously, I just want the essentials no stupid theme etc.. is that normal or a bit harsh? i mean what do other people with multiple kids do, go all out for each one when theyre an infant? I don’t want to i mean i just want the necessities not to mention things are so different this time around, I really have to be practical yay for practicalism right? i dont even know if thats a word but its mine today 😉 I just want to keep it simple, all 3 of my boys had cribs they never slept in should it be safe to say that this one wont need one as well? i mean what a hassle only to have the baby end up in my bed anyway because i was too lazy to get up for feedings. anyway we’ll play it by ear i suppose.. anywho here’s a shot of me from today, i am expanding horizontally, its so depressing but i think im staying within my weight limits *finger cross* we’ll find out next wednesday lol.

Week 14 day 2

Hello? 911? yes I want to report a missing person, her name? My Vagina!

Cmon dude this is NOT supposed to be happening already! like I thought maybe another few months down the line but nope here I am at 4 months with no cooter in site. what prompted this pic lol well let me sit down, see, I was in the shower doing my thing till I realized I was just blindy you know doing my thing like I couldnt see anything, and I swer EVERYTIME im in the shower, I think to myself dani you have got to invest in one of those little handicap shower seats that people get so that you can efficiently shave your legs and all other areas comfortably, I mean here i am in the shower with one leg up on the wall trying to shave my legs while the shit is sliding down the slippery freakin wall, i mean its a disaster, and I think to myself nobody is even seeing your legs and junk so why bother well, we all know what happens when your body isnt used to having hair, yea the itch its not cute and i refuse so i shave whether its gonna be seen or not, i dont mind scratching my legs but other areas? bruh… not cool at all. So all in all I think I will start waxxing in a few weeks after i grow some hair out and just do that monthly cause i cant deal and razors are damn expensive, I mean im like half gorilla i grow hair literally by the minute so I gotta use like men’s gillette Fusion that crap is expensive so how bout we just get rid of all that. theres only one person in the world i would trust my lady parts to in this area so i have nothing to fear lol. I had the best philly steak n cheese sandwich today from the cafe in our building shocking but i dranks 16oz of hot chocolate with it so im paying for that now with some killer indigestion and heartburn, im so freakin greedy its really quite annoying. tomorrow’s halloween, i dunno what im gonna do i might do a doctor since all ill have to wear is a white coat and carry needles around me lol im gonna go check the halloween store out and see what i come up with that i can FIT smh ughhh anyway time to go home.. toodles.

Week 14 day 3

So today is Halloween, I initially wasnt gonna do anything but then I got on google and felt a little adventurous lmao so tonight i’ll be painting my belly into a pumpkin and drawing eyes , a nose, and mouth on it I know i know its a little corny but whens the next time im gonna bare my gut? lmfao no damn time soon thats for sure! and its gonna be cold as hell outside too so we’ll see how this goes, my 15y/0 is pretty talented when it comes to drawing so we’ll see lol anywho ill take pics…

Week 14 day 4

Ok so yea, after sitting in traffic for 2 hours after work yesterday painting my belly was the last thing on my mind, grabbed the boys, took shawn to get his mask and embarked on the trick or treating adventure. EXHAUSTINGGGGG and get this, I wasn’t even walking, I drove my boys every 3 blocks in the neighborhood but the whole ordeal itself i was just tired from the day’s work. after trick or treating I had to run to the grocery store because Im having dinner with the girls at my house tonight so I had to pick some stuff up geeeeeeeez talk about totally burned out by the time i hit the bed plus it was cold as hell outside. anyway so today im going home to cook a few things and have some laughs with my girls tonight, totallly needed and so good for the soul lol. Tomorrow I leave for atlanta, spending the weekend with my bffs diaz and raph, their magazine is on the front page of the blog or maybe even this one, im not sure but itll definitely be a fun weekend cause those two are my favs. Itll be my first time flying pregnant, go figure so im interested to see how this will go, none of my flights are nonstop so there will definitely be some serious commuting hopefully not too bad , i will definitely dres comfortably and warm and pack light.

Week 15 day 2

OMGAHHH looking at the last sentence i typed lemme tell yall about this horrid commute, the trip? fabulous! wouldn’t trade it for the world but the travelling portion? honey, not again until after the baby is born and im not luggin on an extra 17lbs. so leaving out, I got to va at about 5pm dropped my babies off to their grandma. Long term parking at the norfolk airport ridic and nooooo shuttle service mind you its about 38 degrees outside so im humpin like a mile atleast just from the car to the terminal, never again. so get in there, check in blah blah blah, the lay over was in DC and the plane let you out on the runway ughhhhhhhhhhhh it had to be like 12 degrees in dc iw as unhappy then had to hump it to the next terminal to catch the next flight, i know better, i never do layovers always nonstop flights I dunno what I thought I was doing this time around SO anywho get to ATL and my buddies Raph and Diaz call me as soon as I land to come get me from the airport which sounded wonderful, i was prepared to take a cab because i knew i wouldnt be there till like midnight. get there and im just so glad to be around people I know and love and just to be away from the jacksonville area. we laugh, eat cookies, joke around and go to bed. The next morning I was on a hunt to find shoes to match my dress since i didnt bother doing that back home, a quick trip to marshalls , then the mall for diaz to find a shirt, lemme tell yall the mall did me in, boobs back, hips, lower pelvic region im like shit! im outta damn breath, raph and diaz mentioned later that night that they were pleased that i didn’t complain not one time the whole day lol, ive never been much of a complainer, anyway the party was amazing, I ordered the duck it was a little baby duck leg lol but it was great, ate some cake and we went on our way.Sunday rolled around and we all just kinda laid around the couch and watched reality show reruns, napped, ate, watched tv, napped ate lol i didnt want to go home, my flight was leaving around 8pm. the flight back want horrible althoguht i dont think mbf likes being scunched up in an airplane seat at all I mean we were both miserable even though we had window seats, and the flights werent nearly long enough to get a decent nap in. The charlotte layover was hell, it was packed and iw as about two terminals away from the connecting flight, hell. when i finally reached norfolk, walked back to the car in the cold and dark at that point i decided driving back to nc tonight is not a good idea, I just wanted a bed. got to my moms the boys had their coats on lol i was like get back in the bed we’re camping out until monday morn. Overall I had a great time, I really needed to get away and to be around like minded folks that understand you. They’re excited about MBF and we decided to make them both God daddies lol, these guys are like big brothers to me and neither one of them have children so it was a no brainer. SOOOO i had a cotors appointment today, everything looks and sounds good, mbf’s heart rate was in sync with mine it was sooooo cute lol I have another follow up on 21 nov so im hoping we can find out the sex. gave some more blood, blood pressure is good, labs all clear and guess who only gaines 2lbs since last month? i know right?!!! like I eat literally every minute of the day so I dont understand but im not complaining at all, I’ll just proceed like ive been doing lol that did make my day though cause ive been a wee bit concerned about my food intake cause to me its excessive lol. anyway here are some pics from the weekend 😉

Raph and I Editor in chief of Rags n Riches magazine

Week 16 day 5

I actually did a post a few days ago but the internet reset and I didn’t get a chance to redo it so anyway a little lesson is saving your work as you go along lol. Welp ending week 16 seems like time is flyinggg, I have an appointment in 3 days where I meet the doctor that will be assigned to me from this point and beyond so a little excited about that. I will hopefully get an ultrasound that will determine the gender! Woo hoo! Cannot wait! The boys and I have decided not to do thanksgiving this year, iggy is in Japan so it just isn’t the same trying to do it minus one child so we opted for a mini vacation instead where there’s an indoor water park and a spa so everyone can enjoy themselves. I think it will be fun and I would have spent the same amount of money on trying to prepare a 20 course meal for just 3 people so yea we’re skipping it this year and I’m fine with that. Not doing much of anything this weekend so we can do it up next weekend lol, it should be fun, I’m excited. Anywho that’s it for now have a great weekend

Week 17 day 1

This weekend we just chilled, laid around and watched law and order all weekend, I really wasn’t trying to be out in the streets, not only was the weather crappy but I really just wasn’t trying to spend any real money since we’re vacationing this week for thanksgiving, gotta stash away my little funds for the spa LOL, speaking of which I’ve been so achy lately I mean I know its because I haven’t even attempted to do any real physical exercise since ive been pregnant, when I get off my bed from lying down it takes me a while to walk a little, I got this pain in my left booty cheek and my legs and lower pelvic area is very sore so yea I’ll be investing in a prenatal dvd very soon or even doing some basic stretches, I just know my body is not accustomed to carrying this much weight already but time seems to really be picking up the pace so im not complaining too much, I just don’t want to be waddling in the next month or so that’s so not cute. So like I wanted to go visit my friends in Atlanta again around New years Eve but I just noticed that its on a freakin Tuesday like how lame is that? Well I guess not too lame considering I won’t be able to engage in reckless alcohol consumption anyway so I guess I’m not too mad, but I did wanna go visit them again before I got too fat to travel lol I mean the airplane seats were very very uncomfortable and a tight fit to begin with so we’ll see.

Week 17 day 3

yup folks that is my baby’s penis! LOL *sigh* its alright I didn’t need a daughter anyway, just glad to have a healthy baby lol the above photo he’s actually giving us the hand lmao such a prude already, he didnt even wanna show his genitals, the only way we saw it is by me rolling over to my side completely and the doc shaking him up a bit lol too sweet. Perfect Thanksgiving present 😉

Week 18 day 1

Wow what a weekend, I took the boys to the Dunes Village Resort in Myrtle beach for the weekend, it was pretty awesome, they enjoyed it and I enjoyed toting my fat azz down the lazy river for hours on end, getting out only to pee and eat not bad for a winter getaway. Thursday for Thanksgiving which I didn’t intend to stick around for but ended up doing so anyway out of sheer laziness, I made a small turkey breast, collards, mashed potatoes, baked macaroni and cheese, fudge brownies and gravy, it was just us 3 so I didn’t feel the need to go overboard, everyone pitched in to help so it went fairly smooth I thought, we pigged out then laid around till Friday, Friday I woke up and went to get a pedi I figured if I was gonna be parading these dogs around strangers they could atleast be nice looking lol, I didn’t do the black Friday thing Im just not into it, I did however do cyber Sunday lastnight and accomplished quite a bit of Christmas shopping so that felt good. Im really not trying to be in the stores at all this year, not even to buy wrapping paper im so serious lol.

Week 18 day 3

kind of a blah day today, Im gonna go play lotto after work lol yea im getting old its official, oh a complete stranger tied my shoe laces today lol that was cute, i m thinking damn even he thinks i cant bend down to tie em myself lmfao I felt like a handicap person, anywho not much to report today, I had a humongous breakfast that i kinda snacked on throughout the day, pancakes, eggs, sausage, biscuit hashbrowns lol yea total fat ass. im really tired but ive got a dinner date at Marrakesh with my bff so thats where im headed always good to have girl time and its been a few weeks for us so its long overdue, Ive been meaning to post pics from my weekend with the boys but havent gotten up to do it yet I may try from the app later, alrighty tis all..

Week 18 day 5

TGIF! im so glad this week is over I just wanna go home and sleep, the boys and i put the christmas tree up lastnight and i managed to wrap a few gifts whew, i love this time of year, though I do miss having someone to get me gifts i’ll settle for putting a smile on my babies faces instead 😉 my pelvic region is super sore, im working on a solution it just feels like my pelvic bones are just worn the f out, already, i still have 4 months to go smh, im pretty sure by month 8 im gonna need a hoveround. it hurts to walk and dont have me standing for more than 2 minutes, its a wrap lol im working on possibly some stretches and yoga but fuuuuuuuudge its the discomfort from hell. im gonna figure it out this weekend i hope. Oh I went to target lastnight, yes i live in there lol anywho they had their maternity section’s own clearance rack which in the past they just mixed it with all the other clearance racks but this time it was segregated, iw as in heaven! anywho i bught like 8 long sleeve shirts for like $5.98 originally $19.99 a piece cool right? lord knows i hate spending money on clothing ill never wear again but a few of the styles i may just keep for after the baby. besides the discomfort, everything is well, im over my weight limit and i feel every lb of it, thats sucks. oh i finally found the prenatal gummies those too were onsale for less than $10 theyre originally like 15 bucks or so and taste very very yummy, im glad because i dread those prenatal pills u have to swallow, never been a fan at all. anywho thats it for now, theres a local festival downtown tomorrow i may take the boys to if the weather does what it says it will lol…

Week 19 day 1

*sigh* trouble in paradise, I had some spotting last night and thought it would be gone by the morning but when I got to work it was a little worse than lastnight so I went to the docs and they checked it out, looks like I have a little unwanted visitor aka Fibroid, right at the tip of my uterus, it isn’t affecting the baby or the placenta at all so the doc isn’t concerned, I’ll check back with her in 2 weeks till then nothing exciting is to happen to me lol aka sex. My cervix is still completely sealed so that ruled out any chance of a miscarriage whew, I was just an emotional wreck this morning because I had no idea what was going on, we’ve made it too far to start having problems now so im really hoping it doesn’t grow any cause im not feeling the c-section or preterm labor alternative at all. I’ve been a good girl lol. Had another ultrasound and my little guy just had his face covered with his hands the whole time lol I can’t wait to meet him. Anyway other than that, this weekend was pretty uneventful, we chilled at home mostly..

Week 20 day 1

The halfway mark! Thank God! I can’t complain much these days except for the fact that everything from my tailbone down is achy and uncomfortable, I have YET to buy that prenatal yoga dvd or do anything to alleviate some of my discomforts im just flat out lazy as hell and I’m fine with that. I’m officially over my weight limit pfffft I mean seriously I’ve gotta eat, and I damn sure don’t eat if I don’t have to so whatever, I’ll lose it, if it’s the last thing I do lmao. Been a bit busy with this holiday stuff tis the season for mass confusion especially in my household but it’ll soon be over then I can start focusing on real life again. I’m on a much needed break from school, I honestly just don’t think I could swing it with how tired I’ve been. My hormones have calmed down quite a bit thank goodness, translation; im no longer as horny or emotional as I was when this all started, seriously im too tired to be horny and damn sure too tired to carry out the full act of sex lmao aint that some bullshit but whatevs..

Week 24 day 4

SO yea I’ve been slacking majorly on keeping up this diary I sowwy, its been 4 whole weeks lol, welp im 6 months now hooray! we made it! now its time to count down to the finish line, words can’t express how ready i am to deliver and get my body back holy moly. I’m officially a wobbler, walking is such a chore for me these days and ive vowed not to purchase not a single article of maternity clothing anymore, time to baby shop. My mom has already started lol she can’t help herself she loves to shop and now she has more of an excuse. I’ll admit I have not yet found the desire to buy anything for this baby, I did however decide on a name though eh eh progress huh ok so im thinking Dylan, I like it its simple and its not spelled dillon or dillan which some can associate with pickles and yea im not feeling those but Dylan fits us as a family i think, i like it 😉 dont ask me how it came about cause i dont know lol, anywho not much more to report! peaceeee out..

Week 26 day 3

Checking in,

not much happening besides the fact that im as huge as a house and I ache everywhere. whine whine whine bitch bitch bitch, I don’t think im nesting but ive been sorta decluttering my home quite a bit, getting rid of nonsense, making it more breathable. I realized that i havent had an infant in this house the entire 6 years that ive lived there so it certainly needs some work, childproofing etc.. not sure when im gonna be in the mood to do that crap either. Baby Dylan has been kicking and punching the living crap out of me at the most awkward times ever, on occasion i roll over onto my stomach when i sleep accidentallly, i think its just a mechanism to get me to fall back to sleep since thats the most comfortable position in the world to me, the baby doesnt waste anytime letting me know that thats not the position i should be sleeping in kicks galore lol, time is winding down, i think i have like what 14 weeks left but then again who is counting right lol, I’ve still yet to figure out a theme if any for his room, decor and all that, when i say im no where near being in the mood? thats an understatement! i hope it gets better by like march or so, if not we’re just gonna wing it lol, Im not even sure if i want a baby shower at this point, im so serious lol, maybe my mood will improve as the weeks go by. Dad has officially exited the Marine Corps and moved out the area so thats gonna be another glorious challenge, actually none of my children’s dad live in close proximity so that will really be nothing new<~ I dont even know how that sounds but whatevs lol. In my next follow up in 2 weeks I have that stupid glucose test and the wonderful rhogam shot in the ass to look forward to yay, but thats just an awesome welcome to the 3rd trimester, the last mile, i cant wait… till next time..

Week 28 day 4

hey!!

Well I had my 3rd trimester appointment today whoop! can u say effin excited?!!!

yes very much so, labs and that stupid glucose test was horrible but i survived now its time to count down! I havent been sleeping worth a damn lately between just not being comfortable, to peeing every 3rd minute to the baby being wide the hell awake at 2am jumping double dutch I just really cant get enough sleep. My friends have decided to throw me a baby shower on march 16th so im helping with that, mind you I havent had nor attended one since I was 17 years old yea 16 years ago so this will be interesting. thats how youre supposed to do it anyway right? throw one for your first born and your final born cause God knows I will not be doing this again everrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! sorry future hubby you’ll just have to accept me and my gang the way we are no new additions LOL! my appetite has gotten humongous! Ive accepted the fact that im 50lbs overweight and still have 11 weeks to go, who knows what my final weight will be and frankly who gives a rats ass? not I clearly.. the boys are getting excited as time draws near ive been sort of training them for how life will be post baby, no more going behind everyone to ensure theyre doing what theyre supposed to cause i will be busy and sleepless so they need to start practicing now with normal day to day activities like picking up after themselves. I still havent done my maternity photos yet and since i deemed no one worthy or talented enough I will be doing them myself since im so picky guess i’ll just be annoying the crap outta me till they look right LOL, that is all for now….

toodles..

Week 32
So it’s been a few weeks, not much has been happening, I’ve settled into a somewhat routine I suppose that’s helping the time to kinda go by very quickly. I haven’t been sleeping well, I’m kinda going through the motions. I’ve been a little emotional only at night though like when my mind finally settles down and doesn’t have shyt else to do but think and over process stuff. I worry about raising this baby alone, although I’ve got an amazing mom, great kids and friends I’ve never really had to raise a child alone besides Shawn my oldest, I was only 17 and his dad and I severed communication at the beginning of the pregnancy, very similar to this time around only it’s 16 years later. I keep it out of my mind for the most part, I really don’t know what it is I actually expect from him a call or text to maybe ask how im doing? I dunno and what scares me the most is that I know he wants to help raise this child even though he’s hundreds of miles away I feel like because I’m somewhat of a grudge holder I won’t know how to all of a sudden accept him and just include him in our lives? It’s like you didn’t give a shit about us for 9 months and then voila! How does that work? Does it even work? I’m tough, I’ve gone thru things in my life from the age of 7 that even my mom doesn’t know about. I can handle pretty much everything but I get tired of being strong for everyone, no ones around when I fall to pieces. I’ve gotten accustomed to the let downs, every male figure who has entered my life since birth has been a let down lol what’s funny is I think that’s why God keeps giving me sons to make up for it? 4 of them? I get it that’s totally what it is he’s allowing me to raise these boys into men in a manner that they will never contribute or be a part of the let down cycle! I love them to pieces, and I can’t wait for Dylan to join our family. Life goes on, these thoughts have been trapped in my head for weeks and I’m not ashamed to put them out there because I’m certain someone reading this diary can relate. Behind this tough exterior is a human going thru human like shit and guess what? It could be a hell of alot worse but it isn’t….
I have my final ultrasound on Tuesday, I get to see Dylan all cramped up in my gut probably holding up a calendar wearing his umbilical cord around his forehead like a headband throwing up a peace sign for the camera. I can tell his personality already, I think he’s gonna be a great baby 😉
Well it’s Friday and I’m deep conditioning my hair, Dylan has given me some thick healthy strands and I’ve been nurturing them back to health after years of abuse, I mean what else do I have to do right lol.. Till next time ..

Week 35 day 5

Howdy guys! yea its been a while, so much has been going on first and foremost here is dylan’s 4d pic

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so yea the reason why his eye looks like that is because for 15 mins into the ultrasound his foot was covering it lmao hilarious, he’s quite the character, he did NOT want to be woken up at all despite what we tried; shaking him laying upside down, everything. The ultrasound guy said he was huge, i really hope he was just kidding cause I’m not bout that life right now, my friend just gave birth to a 9 pounder and she is about 2 sizes smaller than me. I really hope he weighs less than Shawn did which was 8lbs 6 oz, I don’t think i can handle much more than that. So I’ve had 2 baby showers, one was a surprise at work and the other was planned by my bff Clarissa, they were both awesome and Dylan has plenty of goodies, the one I had this past Saturday afterwards I just kind of used all the cash and gift cards to go to babiesrus and get all the or majority of the items that were on the registry list. I got his changing table a Delta sleigh type at Once Upon a Child for 30 bucks and a Fisher price swing for 30 bucks as well, both items retail for over $190 a piece, I also got him the Chicco travel system ive been lusting over but didn’t want to spend $500 on a yard sale website for $100 total WIN! Ive been pretty thrifty in regards to Dylan’s gear even his bassinet is 2nd hand it only makes sense, 4th kid, only thing new should be his clothes. I got his room painted a neutral beige from a Spanish red which was the color of the guest room before it became his room lol. I’m still debating on a crib because he’ll have the play yard with the bassinet in it as well as the rollable bassinet so I really don’t know if im gonna do a crib at all at this point. I had false labor 2 weekends ago, I was contracting at 5 mins apart and freaked out and went to the hospital, they saw the contractions but they weren’t dilating contractions so they sent me home whew, being in the l&d room was even creepy to me I’m like I am sooooooo not ready for this right now, I hadn’t shaved my legs or anything I was a beast! So no that was not an ideal time for Dyl to make his appearance. I’ve been taking it easy ever since though, I had so much going on that day from various surplus home improvement stores to meeting with roofers to other random errands I really out did myself that day. So this is the last stretch of this pregnancy and when I tell you I am thrilled that is an understatement I am totally ready to move on to this next phase of my life, it was fun while it lasted loll NOT. That’s it for now I’ve been really tired but I will try to write more.. oh heres a recent of me 😉

9 months

9 months

Week 37 Day 5

Lord chile time is dwindling down with the quickness, there aren’t enough characters for me to describe how uncomfortable and miserable I am so I’m gonna keep it brief! What’s new? well as fat as I feel I’ve only gained the recommended 27lbs throughout the duration of this pregnancy woot!, my doc told me yesterday that since November I’ve only gained 9lbs and that was very impressive, never mind that I think all their scales are broken but I will definitely bask in that ambiance for the time being. yesterday I had an episode where i was barfing and well toileting i thought for sure i was on my deathbed or this was a very odd way to start labor, by the time i was done all i could do was go to bed and pray I didn’t fall into dehydration which can also bring on false labor yuck. So I have my photo shoot all planned out, it’s a secret for now but everything is on order in preparation for it, I’m hoping to do it before i pop just waiting for everything to arrive in the mail, I’m excited and I’m doing it myself double win lol. Dylan’s dad and I have been in touch more lately I guess since time is dwindling down and things are becoming more of a reality that we might as well lol anyway it’s a good thing and relieves some of the fears i had just a few weeks ago. The boys are ready for him to be here already, it’s always nice to have a new addition to the family, I just hope he’s a calm baby like the others were but we’ll see. his room is pretty much done, laundry done, bassinettes ready i got to install the car seat and clear my trunk out to make room for a stroller, my hospital bag is packed and so is his diaper bag only thing i haven’t done yet is assemble his swing which i will once i figure out where its gonna go lol, I’ve been very thrifty this time around and I’m pretty proud of myself, a lot of his equipment is gently used or barely used at all and I got em for cheap which i didn’t do with any of the other boys, I guess since this is my fourth it didn’t really matter as much about new gear just as long as it’s well within expiration dates and hasn’t been in any accidents, stained or anything else 😉

Week 38 day 0
Soooo today I finally knocked out my maternity shoot lol let me tell u this was not easy. I used a bottle of silver metallic body paint to cover my head to mid thigh. Yesterday I started with an old wig that I didn’t mind messing up with the metallic powder, so I added the metallic powder no liquid to the hair with a paint brush and let it sit in a bowl overnight. The powder was so fine it got into my nostrils and anywhere that a minute piece of powder could find its way on or into so yea it’s everywhere. Anyway this morning I woke up and applied the paint to my face. I didn’t use the mixing liquid the paint suggestive because it was heavily chemical based, I wasn’t feeling that, water didn’t seem like an option in terms of gloss so I used coconut oil. It went on beautifully 😉 I applied the paint with my hands and a face sponge and waited for my friend to arrive to do the photos. I originally had it set up to where I would use a remote to take the photos myself but doing the paint was already overwhelming so I opted for a bit of help 😉 the shoot went well I’m still editing, I haven’t used photoshop in so long I’m a little rusty not to mention how meticulous I am about myself in photos lol anyway I did it and I did it before Dylan got here lol yayy he can come whenever he wants now this is my fav for now, I will upload the rest when the edits are complete 😉

IMG_0156_pp

Week 39 day 5

Dammit man, well I’m still pregnant, Dylan isn’t going anywhere. I’ve been hangin out at 3cmm dilation for the past 2 weeks and at this point I’m just not even miserable anymore I’m past that, I’m at the don’t talk to me or say good morning to me mode, mind  you I’m still going to work at this point as well, no sense in wasting leave days if I’m fully capable of working so.. yea. Doc said if I didn’t deliver by next Wednesday he would induce me, I dunno if I wanna be induced if it entails stripping membranes cause that ish hurt worse than labor lol, a little water pop or a pitocin drip would be cool but not that strippin stuff Jeeeeez! So we shall see. I’m pretty much all ready now, car seat is in the car, bottles and nipples sterilized, and breast pump ready, laundry done I think I’m good to go, just waiting for the big moment..

LABOR BETCHES!!

wow sorry I haven’t updated this page to anyone who isn’t a fb friend of mine following the blog I know you’re like wtf LOL well here is how it went down, labor sucked to the 10th power! I was in labor literally for 3 days. I would get contractions time them then go to the ER only to get sent back home, so I called my mom around the first onset of contractions and she left work at 3am and drove 4 hours to me only to be sent back home with me LOL she was literally sleeping in the hospital room while I was going through these hell bound contractions so, the doctor I didn’t want delivering me was on call I wasn’t mad I got sent home at all. The second visit to the ER contractions closer together hurt a lot more but no dilation whatsoever guess where I was sent? Yea home, pissed off. They gave me some ambien n told me to go home n sleep.

Finally a few hours later contractions from hell got unbearable, I’m on this ambien so I’m groggy, sleepy, in pain and I’m bleeding so now I’m panicky cause I think something is wrong, I’ve never bled before so. I drive back to the ER I don’t wanna wake my mom up incase it’s another false alert, I get to the ER my doc is oncall thank the lord, he checks me and im 7cmm dilated. Let me tell yall, I don’t remember labor ever hurting like this with my last 3 kids its like God was giving me the finger big time. So I begged for an epidural cause im like this pain is not the business, I couldn’t even breathe or talk through a contraction, my doc is like enh we might not have time, I gave him a stare, the anesthesiologist was in there in minutes, I didn’t contract at all while he was in there, he was super strict from what the nurses were saying but he was perfect, he was my GOD he was my savior at that very moment I loved him. We went together in my head he was my boyfriend lmao so serious I loved his ass we were married in my mind. I’ve been meaning to send him a thank you card or perhaps a BMW for his helpfulness in my most painful experience ever lol.

So im feeling good, laying flat on my back no pain just chillin, my doc is like hey its 7am, I get off at 8:30 im coming in here at 8:15 and you’re pushing, im like dude im not arguing lets get this show on the road! Pushing on an epidural? Wtf was that a joke? When I thought i was pushing I wasn’t doing shit cause I couldn’t feel myself do anything from the waist below, very frustrating, finally when I got the hang of it after 5 failed pushes I pushed, Dylan was crowning and these hags had the nerve to tell me to stop pushing while they went to get the doctor, how do u stop pushing with a head in your birth canal trying to come out? They’re like pant, im panting my ass off im the master panter right now lmao finally my boo bear arrived, he was perfect, he was worth all the phuckery I had endured from day 1, I loved him immediately, we stared at each other for what seemed like hours LOL. here are his first photos..

 164272_10201135940586360_2067134439_n 321551_10201135941746389_802026168_n 484422_10201135942466407_1620526849_n 644621_10201135942746414_321047306_n 935708_10201135941346379_1753911241_n 936284_10201135935866242_2005278820_n

3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. trevieta nolen
    Feb 23, 2013 @ 07:27:01

    Enjoyed reading your entries, I didn’t even know you were keeping one for the baby. I especially loved your week 32 entry. I had it rough with Keanna’s father but like you that was many years ago. I know you know you can do it because you have already proven that to yourself in the many accomplishments that you have made. I believe fear is an emotion that keeps us grounded and lets us know we are still human and need to lean on God. Chin up Dani for more ways than one! You’re a freaking awesome mom now so it’s gonna be great!!! Cant wait to see baby Dylan!!

    Reply

    • danounou
      Feb 23, 2013 @ 09:17:23

      Thank you very much Trev I really really appreciate your kind words and you’re absolutely right, worrying does nothing but negate our faith in God, it’s really in his hands and I’m gonna leave it up to him 🙂 xoxo

      Reply

  2. torty komunijne katowice
    Apr 06, 2013 @ 08:38:15

    Normally I do not read post on blogs, however I wish to say that this write-up very pressured me to try and do so! Your writing style has been amazed me. Thanks, quite nice post.

    Reply

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