Timmy’s wishlist to Santa from the hood

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Dear Santa,                                                       

 

                                                                    

 

  How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the         

 

  reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this 

 

  year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 5 for 

 

  Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day.          

 

                                                                   

 

  Merry Christmas,                                                 

 

                                                                   

 

  Timmy Jones                                                       

 

                                                                   

 

  * *                                                               

 

                                                                   

 

                                                                   

 

                                                                   

 

  Dear Timmy,                                                        

 

                                                                   

 

  Thank you for your letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves 

 

  are all fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little

 

 

  worried all the time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa

wouldn’t   

 

  want you to get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I’ll

bring

 

  you something you can go outside and play with.                     

 

                                                                    

 

  Merry Christmas,                                                 

 

                                                                   

 

  Santa Claus                                                       

 

                                                                   

 

  * *                                                               

 

                                                                   

 

                                                                    

 

                                                                   

 

  Mr. Claus,                                                       

 

                                                                   

 

  Seeing that I have fulfilled the “naughty vs. Nice” contract,     

 

  set by you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way

 

  clear to granting me what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn’t want to

 

 

  turn this joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don’t you think that

a

 

  jab at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year 

 

  is a bit trite?

 

 

                                                                   

 

  Respectfully,                                                     

 

                                                                   

 

  Tim Jones                                                         

 

                                                                    

 

  * *                                                               

 

                                                                   

 

                                                                   

 

                                                                    

 

  Mr. Jones,                                                       

 

                                                                   

 

  While I have acknowledged you have met the “nice” criteria,        

 

  need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no 

 

  way is it a guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue

legal 

 

  action, well that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorney’s

 

 

  have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident

 

 

  and will be more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally,

the   

 

  exercise alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve

 

 

  your social skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks

like 

 

  the bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days.                     

 

                                                                   

 

  Very Truly Yours,                                                  

 

                                                                   

 

  S Claus                                                           

 

                                                                   

 

  * *                                                               

 

                                                                   

 

                                                                   

 

                                                                    

 

  Now look here Fat Man,                                           

 

                                                                   

 

  I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was       

 

  attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my

 

  friends into this. Now you just be disrespecting me. I’m about to tweet my

 

 

  boys and we’re gonna be waiting for your fat ass and I’m taking my game

 

  console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT,

MAN!                                                             

 

                                                                   

 

  T-Bone                                                           

 

                                                                   

 

  * *                                                               

 

                                                                   

 

                                                                    

 

                                                                   

 

  Listen Pizza Face,                                               

 

                                                                   

 

  Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the 

 

  world on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny G-banger wannabe?

 

 

  “He sees you when you’re sleeping; He knows when you’re awake”. Sound

 

 

  familiar, genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I

 

 

  got your shit wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt

 

 

  people that if I described them right now, you’d throw up your Totino’s 

 

  pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom’s basement. You’re not getting

 

 

  what you asked for, but I’m still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud

hole

 

  in your ass and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Petunia.             

 

                                                                    

 

  S Clizzy                                                         

 

                                                                   

 

  * *                                                               

 

                                                                   

 

                                                                   

 

                                                                   

 

  Dear Santa,                                                        

 

                                                                   

 

  Bring me whatever you see fit. I’ll appreciate anything.         

 

                                                                   

 

  Timmy                                                             

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Woe is me, Social networking gone wrong

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Rant~

I have a problem with people who love to play victims, doesn’t matter in which aspect of their lives whether its relationship wise, family wise whatever, though some individuals may have been dealt a better deck of cards than you have, seeking validation from social networks is not it. Constantly whining, degrading the opposite sex or  the mother or father of your children, or blaming the world in general for your eff ups isn’t it either, no one likes to take responsibility for their own actions or OWN their problems and decide to make a change in their lives for the better. Just complain and complain, wallow in their own misery, post “woe is me” statuses all day,sad song lyrics,  bare their asses in photos then wonder why no one takes them seriously or question their ethics as parents,  Always dressed fly and well maintained but your kids look like they could be in one of those 19 cents a day commercials, priorities just all jacked up, Relationship statuses changing quarterly, posting every emotion that you’re going through at any given time showing how unstable you are as a person, like people are not here for that, I’ll be the first one to tell you to shut the hell up or simply remove you from my newsfeed. It’s not that I lack empathy well really I do struggle with that but I wasn’t raised to not give a shit about people, just  not to allow your circumstances to define who you are or who you will become. I can’t sit here with a straight face and say that I have not been THROUGH SOME SHIT in my life, because I have, a lot, a whole lot!!!!! from the age of 8 and up. Only a handful of people in my life are aware of it, not even my parents. Did I allow those things to define my character? Am I raising my kids, my boys, some type of way because of what I went through? HELL NO, what they WILL know and would have gotten out of their childhood is to always respect women and to never think it’s ok to put their hands on them, Always respect people in general and never look for a handout, work hard and earn your way through life, they will be independent, smart, productive members of society with a kick ass upbringing and they will never forget the sacrifices that were made for them. We live and we learn, we’re supposed to grow from the negatives not bask in them, I get that some people tolerate and process things differently than others, I used to want to save everyone, mediate and try to heal them but in doing so their hurt and burdens would weigh me down and nothing would change for them, they needed to have their OWN epiphany, their own wake up calls to let them know that hey, you’re doing this wrongs, the same bs that you’ve been doing keeps producing the same bs results, something’s got to change, You can’t do that for everyone, can’t be everyone’s life coach, you’ve got your own life to live and your own people relying on you. I also feel that who you surround yourself with plays a major role in how you heal and progress from your situation. If you’re not being uplifted by those around you, just hangin out with the same ratchet individuals who have nothing going for themselves and the both of you have similar problems but no one is reaching out to the other one yet instead condoning the foolishness that surrounds you all the time is recipe for failure….

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